But today in church, I was once again renewed with hope. There were TWO brand new babies there. I couldn't help myself--I was the baby hog that mothers dread! (Hey, I am admitting to it--that's half the battle, right?) As I held and carefully examined little Eadie Beisel, I was stunned at how precious little babies are. They stay little for such a short time! I was stunned that I have experienced new life in my home five times! I was filled with excitement that I will have another chance to experience the joy of a new baby! EXCITEMENT people! I am convinced that the more babies a person has, the more they want because they value the experience all the more. Have I stated the fact that I LOVE BABIES??? Sick or not, I walked out of church thrilled at the future of another one in our home, convinced that I can make it through 6 more weeks of nausea and fatigue.
A lot of people wonder why Kevin and I want so many children. It's as though we are a freak of nature or a circus act of some sort. Our reasons are purposeful. When attending Bible college, I was an audience to a debate, one team composing of those who who thought families should wait to have children and then carefully control the amount; the other team consisted of those who were pro-large family. The debate did not last too long, because the large-family team won hands down! I won't go into details, because I don't want to offend anyone--but from that moment on, I decided that if God gave me a family, I wanted to make them priority and give God the ability to do whatever He wanted in my family, even if that meant I would oppose the culture around me by having LOTS of children. I told Kevin that evening (we were dating at the time) that I wanted 12 children when we married! He, in shock at the thought, could not respond. After considering it, he came back and said I was worth having 12 kids, so my desires were fine. =) (I am all about communicating BEFORE marriage...no assuming !!!) The rest is history. We are going on 10 years of marriage, so I am on track so far. =)
I am not Mormon. I am not Catholic (do even these religions do pro-family anymore?). I am also not a legalistic quiver-full movement person. Kevin and I LOVE our kids. We love each and every one and we can't imagine what ANOTHER one would do to change the dynamics of our family--but we anticipate it!
Did I mention that it is hard? Overwhelming?
Our kids aren't deprived---at least they don't think they are.
Just so you know, these are dumb comments:
"Don't you know how babies are made?"
"Don't you have a T.V?"
"This is your last, I hope."
"You aren't going to have more, are you?"
Please, if you don't have something intelligent to say, just keep your mouth closed. (This is what I teach my children.)
So, out of the muck of discouragement I come. I am back on track to optimistic dreams of my purposeful life! I am thankful that God has given me these GIFTS of little ones, who someday will be adults, serving the Lord themselves!
Alright--where are the pickles?
Noah Jeremiah age 8 1/2
Constance Joy age 7 (almost)
Lily Clara 5 1/2
Psalm 139:13-16 "For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's owmb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, When I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Thy book they were all written, The days that were ordained for me, When as yet there was not one of them!"
Psalm 127: 4-5 "Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of ones' youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; they shall not be ashamed when they speak with their enemies in the gate."
